When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade. When life hands you a plantain, make a pocket pussy. That’s what Mom always told me, anyway, and that advice has never steered me wrong. When you need a little something extra for your forays into masturbation, the noble plantain can be your best friend. The only other pieces of equipment you’ll need for your plantain banana pocket pussy are duct tape and a microwave. So let’s get this show on the road.

To begin, take your duct tape and wrap it tightly around one end of the plantain, then keep wrapping until you’ve got 2/3 of the plantain wrapped up in duct tape. You’ll probably want two or three layers of tape on your plantain pocket pussy to give it a little structural support. Once you’ve wrapped that rascal, put it into the microwave and let it run on the oven’s high setting for about 15 seconds.

Once you’ve removed your pocket pussy, let it cool down if it’s hot to the touch. Different microwaves generate more power at their various settings, so err on the side of caution to avoid scorching your cock when you insert it into your plantain pocket pussy. You want your finished product to be as warm as human flesh, but not red hot. Once the plantain’s cool enough, cut the exposed tip off of the plantain and squeeze the plantain’s filling out into a bowl until you’ve got it hollowed out. Presto! You’ve make your own pocket pussy, one that’s going to feel much more lifelike than those surgical gloves that you keep on wrapping up into your towels.

This method will allow you to make a pocket pussy for pennies a service. Plantains don’t cost very much per pound and duct tape’s no big deal either. You can use regular bananas in a pinch, but the plantain’s larger size makes for a better pocket pussy. Be sure to share this valuable information with friends and enjoy your plantain pocket pussy.