If you don’t own one already, it’s probably just a matter of time before you buy yourself an artificial pussy, whether it’s an inexpensive pocket pussy or one of the deluxe porn star sculpts complete with vibrating pussy and ass. Believe me; these are much better than using that rolled up towel with the garbage bag inside. That might have been good enough when you were in the service, but today’s artificial vaginas are much better, with lifelike synthetic skin and additional features that will curl your toes.

Using any kind of artificial vagina is very intuitive. Let’s use the familiar pocket pussy as our example. Before you use the toy, be sure to apply plenty of lube to your cock. The new synthetic skins such as CyberSkin and UR3.0 are soft and smooth, but you’ll still be much more comfortable thrusting your cock in and out of the toy if you’ve used a generous amount of lube. Friction burns there are no fun.

Once you’re ready to take the plunge, just glide your cock into the artificial pussy. If you’ve used the towel and garbage bag jerry-rigged toy, you already know your way around a pocket pussy. Either thrust into the toy or run it back and forth over your cock, whichever is easier and more comfortable for you. Let the artificial vagina work its magic, and blow your load when you just can’t resist anymore. It’s just like riding a bike, except that you don’t have to worry about falling off a pocket pussy. Once you’ve finished using your artificial vagina, clean the toy according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Never forget this step—neglect it and you’ll have a really funky smell coming from the sock drawer you’re using to store the pocket pussy in.

Artificial pussies are easy and intuitive to use—any special vibration features will be explained in detail in the instructions. For the most part, all you have to do is lube up and then do what comes naturally. You can’t beat artificial vaginas.